• Stephanie LaBonte

The Overthinking Trap

“Is this the right thing to do?” “Should I be doing more?” “If I don’t do more, are people going to judge me?” “If I do less, are people going to think that I’m lazy?”

Welcome, my friends, to the overthinking trap. A perfect way to waste time and get so stuck in indecision that no decision is made. We have all done it. Think about how your day starts.

Your alarm rings. Immediately, thoughts start racing around in your head. Everything you need to do, everything you haven’t done. Should you get up? Should you stay in bed? What should you do first? Should you get changed first? Take a shower? Make some coffee? But, maybe coffee has too much caffeine and you should have some green tea. You really should eat healthier for breakfast, but you can’t decide what to eat for breakfast in the store.

Sound familiar?

Our inner dialogue can be a HUGE distraction from goals we have for ourselves and would you believe me if I said that overthinking is just ONE of the symptoms of low self-worth? Yes, your brain knows that you don’t believe in yourself and has compiled a whole case against you. Since it has solid proof, it acts a certain way to distract you from your purpose. Namely, wasting time. Bullying yourself. Scrolling social media comparing yourself to others. Thinking of all the reasons why you should not do something.

So when you start to overthink, I encourage you to be aware of this, and break the drama happening in your head. I want to reassure you that this takes time. In fact, you have been overthinking for years, so breaking the habit takes time and a lot of love.

But, how can you stop overthinking and start living your life drama-free? Love yourself and treat yourself gently. Speaking kindly to yourself can do wonders in this process. And if you need some action steps, here is how you can make this a routine:

  1. Identify when you are overthinking. Recognize that you are doing this. Is it in the morning, evening? Just notice and record in a journal or in the notes section on your phone.

  2. Forgive yourself. This is big, because if you don’t forgive yourself, you will judge yourself for doing it. I have heard it over and over, “OMG, I am so stupid, I keep getting stuck in this trap!” If your friend told you she was stupid for overthinking, you would not tell her she was stupid, so don’t do it to yourself.

  3. Choose to be curious instead. We love to question. Be curious about your thoughts. “That’s interesting, I wonder why I am thinking that. Maybe it’s because…” Journal it out, or move your body to release it from your head and out in the open.

  4. Get support. I feel like I don’t need to remind you that you are not alone or that there is powerful healing in communication. Reach out to a friend or trusted family member to talk it through. Professional support is also always encouraged if that is what you feel you need. Should you want to move quickly through your blocks, my team and I invite you to come to one of our weekly group classes on Mondays at 8pm (here) or Saturdays at 9am (here). These classes are a safe space where there is no judgement, we hold each other accountable, support one another and it is where intense healing happens.

I know you have it in you, every Grown Up Girl does, to begin her path to a better more healing life. Because Girl, You. Are. Worthy.

With Love,


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