Girl, You Are Worthy
“Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth”- Anonymous
This week, I went live in my group to talk about worthiness. If you want to catch the chat, join the Grown Up Girl Community here.
So let’s get to it. Why don’t you feel like you are enough? You repeat mantras, you meditate, do yoga, eat healthy, journal, and follow people who inspire you. Maybe you are missing something? The thing is, you can do all of these practices and still feel like you are not worthy.
Worthiness by definition is “deserving effort, attention, or respect” (Oxford Dictionary). Often we think that our worthiness is attached to feats, success, accomplishments and material possessions. If we don’t have XYZ, then we consider ourselves undeserving of other things. The problem with that is that we put so much energy in attaining XYZ, that we forget to live. And most importantly, we forget that we are already worthy. A little infant is doted on, adored, revered. You were once that infant, and you can still be that way. Your beliefs about your worthiness have been tainted by your experiences, choices you’ve made, trauma, other’s beliefs, and generational patterns.
We are taught that we need to follow rules and that makes us ‘good’. Here’s an example, I was an exceptional student. I did everything that the teachers said to do, followed all of the instructions and went above and beyond to help others. When I was in the fourth grade, I got a ‘C’ in penmanship (if you know me now, you know my writing is beautiful), and I went home hysterically crying. I did not want to show my mom and I really thought I was going to be kicked out and sent away to Mr. Squires (he was a fictional warden my parents made up to scare us-a man who would take little children to his dark, dank mansion. He came in a car and you had to walk so many miles behind it, you slept on a wooden slab with 1 sheet, ate bread and water and washed all of the floors with a toothbrush- shiver).
My mom was understandably upset and fortunately did not want to send me away. I still felt like I let her down. So I told my Grandmother and she had me write from books for months to improve my penmanship. I wrote until I thought it was perfect. Even when I started getting ‘A’s in penmanship, I still practiced because I did not want to let anyone down again. I have always hated the feeling of letting others down, that they were disappointed in me in some way, that I fell short of their expectations. So I would push myself to the breaking point just to make others happy.
What ended up happening was that I realized that you just can’t make everyone happy. I learned that lesson several times the hard way (I’ll share that story in another blog post) but I also forgot that the grades I received did not define me. My learning and growth were what defined me. My compassion. My joy. Being who I was, unapologetically, was what defined me.
I stayed quiet for so many years because I thought that is what others’ wanted of me. I did more things for others than I care to admit. I sacrificed and suffered in silence because I thought that it was noble of me to do so. However, as I look back, the defining moments in my life have been when I claimed my worthiness back. When I had faith in myself and my path. There were glimmers here and there, but I had to heal old stories and patterns of being a rule follower and people pleaser in order to really reclaim my power. I am here to tell you that it is possible for you too.
You were not put here to suffer. You were not put here to be alone. You were meant to find others who are able to walk this road with you, to laugh, to dance and to share the good and bad. If you’re new here, welcome. You have found your people, and YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Our new weekly series, Girl, You are Enough, is now open for enrollment! Fill out the application here and heal yourself so that you can step into your worthiness.
P.S. How about grabbing this super cute “I Am Enough” tank from our merch store here! 20% off with this code- ENOUGH20